Texas Longhorns Basketball: In The Words of Bud Kilmer…

Courtesy of dailycaller.com.

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We asked earlier this week if Rick Barnes had morphed into a real-life version of Bud Kilmer. Today, we’re taking that Varsity Blues theme one step forward by examining a series of Kilmer’s most famous lines and imagining how—and at whom—Barnes would (or already has) utilize this dialogue.

It should be noted that I have been, and continue to be, a Rick Barnes supporter/apologist. As I’ve said before, when in doubt, I always side with the coaches—not just because of the whole “Man in the Arena” thing, but because they simply have more information about what they’re dealing with and what goes into their decision making than I do, and I refuse to judge someone wholeheartedly when I’m coming from a place of ignorance.

That being said, Barnes and the program have certainly reached a tipping point, and the future has never been more uncertain. With the rash of recent transfers and whiffs at the top of the recruiting board, there are few players who seem to want to play for him, and well, that isn’t really what you want to have to say about your team’s head coach.

So given these trying times, when nothing appears to be going right, and it generally sucks to be a Longhorns sports fan, what else is there to do but try to find a little humor amid all the chaos?

“Stick to the basics! Stick to the basics! Stick to the basics!”

After failing once to inject some excitement into a Coyotes’ practice as the backup quarterback with the “secret” Oop-Dee-Oop offense, newly-minted starter Jonathan Moxon was back at it again, calling the infamous hook-and-ladder play—a.k.a., the one where Billy Bob trots down the field and acts like he’s lost. This razzle-dazzle, of course, goes against Bud Kilmer’s Lombardi-like desire to be a hardnosed, running team, and when Billy Bob fails to secure the pitch from Tweeder while falling flat on his face, Kilmer expresses his displeasure to Mox by screaming this line and giving him the ol’ whistle-to-the-helmet treatment.

If we’ve learned anything about Rick Barnes in his 15+ years at Texas, it’s that he demands things be done a certain way. Each season presents a new team, and each new team—no matter how talented or established—must be beaten and broken down, stripped of any penchant for flash over substance, until they hit rock bottom—at which point they can be built back up and instilled with an identity that matches the idealistic image that exists within Barnes’ mind.

You have to think that Barnes considered, at least a time or two, of giving his players helmets, just so he could hit guys like J’Covan Brown and Jordan Hamilton with his whistle every once in a while.

“You’re dragging a**, and it’s f***ing up my universe.”

First, you’re told to stick to the basics. If you don’t pick it up, these are the words that cross Barnes’ lips. And the guess here is he’s never said them more than he did this past season, as he constantly yanked guys out of the game for not tending to the details, like not blocking out or failing to screen with a purpose or—in Sheldon McClellan’s case—not shooting enough. It was almost comical watching, seeing a guy get beat for an offensive rebound or taking a poor shot—and in the background of the screen, seeing Barnes angrily motion down the bench for somebody to go and take the offending player’s spot on the floor. While Barnes’ rotations and substitution patterns were wholly unpredictable, this chain reaction occurred like clockwork.

That’s why this quote was undoubtedly the mantra of the 2012 – 2013 Texas Longhorns.

As a quick aside, Varsity Blues (made in 1999) was way ahead of its time when it came to concussions in football. If you remember, Kilmer spewed this line at Billy Bob after Billy Bob’s post-concussion trauma caused the missed block that led to Lance’s career-ending injury, and then forced a string of unacceptable performances. Thankfully, somebody (we don’t know who; certainly not Kilmer…maybe the Health teacher/stripper?) stepped in, got Billy Bob to (in his own terms) scan his cat, and kept him off the field until he was medically cleared (though he didn’t miss any time). Had the NFL simply sought out and hired this unnamed West Canaanite, maybe they wouldn’t be facing these massive lawsuits from ex-players.